Feeding the fish with Cyn Cyn
We went to visit my grandmother today with my mom. Declan and I had not seen her since Easter, so it was time for a visit. I love visiting her because I know how happy it makes her. We cannot stay too long because she gets worn out very easily. I know I have blogged about this before...her good days and bad days...today was a not so good day. Maybe I feel like that because it has been awhile since I have seen her. She recognizes us, but calls Declan "she" and "her." She is also losing a lot of vocabulary which makes it very hard to have a conversation with her. She also complains that the staff hurts her. I always think about the scene in the movie Happy Gilmore when she tells me these things. I know it is not true and part of the disease. She also says she hates the food and hasn't eaten in days, but was scarfing down a plate as we left her to eat lunch. I leave there feeling happy because I know we (or should I say Declan) have made her day with a short visit, but heartbroken at the same time leaving her and guilty for not visiting enough. My mom does so much for her and goes to visit her sometimes numerous times a week. I hurt for her too, because I can't imagine seeing my own mother like that. She is not always nice to my mom, but my mom has definitely been very patient with her and very loving. Even if my grandmother may not recognize it, I certainly do and just another reason why I admire, appreciate and love my mom so much. She really is the most amazing woman on the planet! It is just such a sick disease and I think it affects the family members more than it affects the actual individual with Alzheimer's. They don't get it, but we do. Hopefully with my summer hours I will be able to visit more often and we can make her smile and focus on happy things and memories while we are there....even if it is for a little while.
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